Professional Peefer

mafiabosstsuna:

[ Aww, don’t be sad. Although the old admins have retired, this blog is still alive.

                                                                                                    –Admin Giotto ]

[Additional Note: Apologies in advance for gratuitous use of the word ‘fuck’.]

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“Enough bullshit.” Xanxus slams a hand down on the table, frustration radiating from every pore.

“Xanxus,
we’ve talked about this,” You sigh and mark the place in your book, and
consider him tiredly. You’ve had this conversation several times now,
and it never ends well.

“You don’t love me? Fine- ”

“Stop trying to wreck this friendship,” You plead, pinching the bridge of your nose. “We have a good thing, Xanxus!”

“ ….-I’m going to have you, anyways.”
His eyes are dark and unforgiving, like the time you’d first met him.
He exhales through his nose in hot, dangerous huffs as his anger rises.

The
friendship that had grown between you had been with great effort.If not
for the love you had for him, your persistent nurturing of the
relationship would have surely failed. Even now, it was fragile and
easily threatened by his moods and whims. For so long, you had tamped
down your feelings, preferring to have something real and lasting with
the assassin. There was no way in hell you were letting your hard work
fall to the impulsive hothead and his tendency to destroy every girl
he’d ever screwed.

“Stop it,” You snap, standing up. The book
falls from your lap, forgotten. “I’m not going to let you ruin
everything just because you’re horny, Xanxus!”

“I’m not horny,” He snaps, a practiced cruelty lacing his voice. “I’m sick of waiting for you.”

Xanxus
stares down at you, still a head taller even while you’re stretched on
tip-toe to glare into his eyes. His gaze is half-lidded, bored but
calculating. If you keep pushing, you’re going to enter a danger zone.

“Sick of waiting for me?” You laugh bitterly. “I waited for you for months! For years! You don’t get to do this to me!”

“There’s a lot I’m going to do to you,” He growls and a ribbon of fear wavers inside of you. “And I’m not giving you a choice. Not anymore.”

Xanxus
steps forward and seizes your shoulders, his mouth connecting to yours
in a hot bite of dominance and power. You sputter and shove at his
chest, but he dips further into you, exploring your mouth and muffling
you indignant protests.

No. You are not going down like this. Not after all this time, not like this.

You
bite his lip, hard, and he yelps- actually yelps in surprise, pulling
back with bared teeth and a dribble of blood down his chin.

“What the fuck?!” He snarls, wiping a hand across his lips.

“Fuck you!” You scream, hot tears beginning to pool in your eyes. “I fucking loved you, you don’t get to do this to me! You don’t get me to make me some stupid fling!”

“Who the fuck said anything about a fling?!”

“I know how you work! I know what you’re like with girls!”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” He has the gall to look offended.

“I’m not a flavor of the week!”

“Did
you fucking say you loved me?” Xanxus was backpedalling now, eyes
narrowing like he was replaying your humiliating words in his head.

“You don’t have to rub my face in it!” Warmth trickled down your cheeks, embarrassment and pain warring inside of you.

“No, fucking say it again.”
He demands, and his face is stormy and dangerous, the face he wears
when death is near, but you don’t care. He made this mess and he was
going to hear every damn thing you had to say about it.

“I said I loved you!” You scream. “I loved you right up until you assaulted me! I loved you for years and I built this friendship from nothing, and then you trashed it like I was just another cheap impulse fuck! Like I don’t have the right to say no!”

“If I wanted a quick fuck I’d pick a girl off the street! You think I screw all my friends? You think I wanted it to be you?”

“No, I don’t think you wanted me at all!”

“Well that’s too fuckin’ bad, because I do. And we’re both just gonna have to live with that, because I get what I want, _____.”

Xanxus
is towering over you now, fury and hunger blazing in his eyes. You want
to cower beneath his wrath, you want to beat him into the ground until
he feels the way your heart does, you want to run and never come back, never face him again.

Instead of any of the things you want, you knees shake, and you stand, frozen.

“Yeah, and I think you want me, too. I think you’re just too fuckin’ stubborn to admit it, too fuckin’ scared of what might happen.”

“And
what do you think is going to happen, Xanxus?” Your voice trembles. You
don’t bother meeting his eyes this time. You’re too wrung-out, too
exhausted from fighting him. And the truth?

The truth is you don’t know what you want. Wanting Xanxus was a fantasy,
and even as it grew from a crush to a damnable love you couldn’t
control, you never dreamed he would invade that fantasy. Never dreamed
he would try to strongarm you into…..whatever it was, that he wanted from you.

“What’s
gonna happen,” He says, and you can feel his breath ghost over your
skin and ruffle your hair. “Is you’re gonna stop throwing a tantrum
about this. You’re gonna stop yelliing and biting,” (He seems especially bitter about this). “And let me fucking kiss you.”

There’s a pause, and he seems to be letting that sink in to you.

“And then we’re gonna date like normal fuckin’ people, because I love you, you dumbass.”

This
time there’s no pause, not a second of hesitation– he bends down,
angling his mouth over yours, and fits your lips together, and this time
it’s softer. The kiss isn’t gentle or sweet- it’s something desperate
and possessive, but filled with words he doesn’t know how to say. You
don’t bite him this time, and tentatively, you move your lips against
his.

Encouraged, he grows more fervent and buries a hand in your
hair, dragging your hips against his. His body is a burning wall that
you fit against all too perfectly. Your answer is pulled out of you one
nip at a time, each slide of hot teeth and tongue reassuring you as you
surrender to his will.

Xanxus is right: he gets what he wants. But, maybe…..this is what you want, too.