Professional Peefer

masaothedog:

theproblematicblogger:

my-little-bologna:

quorpiest:

keepcalmandcarrieunderwood:

quorpiest:

keepcalmandcarrieunderwood:

You cannot burn toast. Burnt toast is not a thing. Toast by definition is toasted bread. If you go beyond toasted to burnt, you have gone beyond toast. Your three options are:

1. Bread
2. Toast
3. Burnt bread

You fool. “Toasted bread” is any bread that has been warmed to a crisp, any where from “just a little crispy” to “blackened carbon that maintains the shape of a slice of bread.”

Take, for instance, marshmallows. There are two states – raw, as with peeps, and toasted, when it starts to show color. It matters not if its lightly bronzed or set on fire, its still a toasted marshmallow. The only way toast becomes burnt bread and not toast is when it loses structural integrity. Keep spreading these uninformed lies and God will burn you with the toast you so despise.

A pox on you you ignorant slut.

Toast is toasted bread and only exsists in that state. Bread when crisped becomes toast so long as it remains in a state that is recognisable as toast. Burnt bread from a toaster and from a fireplace are interchangeable. Yet toast remains toast.

The only way to “burn toast” is to make toast, then set it on fire.

You empty headed ninny. You numb-skulled dimwit. You craven in man’s flesh.

“Recognizable as toast” is a vague term, what I described as maintaining structural integrity. If I understand your depraved ramblings, you claim bread held over a fire is not toast – then how, may I inquire, was toast made before the invention of the toaster? Toast is crispy bread, it matters not where from.

“Crispy bread” itself is a broad term as well. Burnt bread, as you call it, charred and smoking, is what I would consider crispy. The bread has been toasted.

The only way to have burnt bread that is not burnt toast is to reduce it to ashes.

I guess you could say things are heating up in the toast discourse

You could but shouldn’t

I know someone who calls bread “raw toast”. Nothing surprises me anymore.