ok all drama involving jk rowling and nagini being a fuckin person and shit aside
yall know milking snakes is not. milking their fucking snake titties. right
you guys know snakes don’t have tiddies… . . right
YALL
YOU KNOW THIS RIGHT? YOU KNOW MILKING A SNAKE MEANS TO EXTRACT THEIR VENOM
RIGHT?
I thought about venom extraction when I was reading the book ad a child too, but unfortunately there exists a planned illustration that shows babyfied Voldemort sucking on a snake tit.
THERE’S AN ILLUSTRATION OF W H A T
I found it on internet some time ago. It was supposted to go with illustrated version of Goblet of Fire.
y’know, i never really took that phrase “ every day we drift further from god’s light “ seriously. But guess what, today is the day that i start doing that.
because i’m sure god is looking down at us full of shame
every time i listen to “you’re a mean one mr. grinch” i can’t help but sit there and think “what did the grinch do to hurt you?” because dude just stands there for 2 minutes and 58 seconds and drags the grinch into the dirt
he stole christmas, kayla! stop with your #notallgrinches propaganda!
you know what if someone told me i was a three-decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce i’d probably be bitter enough to steal christmas too
Interestingly, though The Grinch Who Stole Christmas is narrated by Boris Karloff, the big musical number is sung by the late Thurl Ravenscroft – an American voice actor better known as the voice of Tony the Tiger.
My headcanon is that the Grinch and Tony the Tiger had a bad breakup, and “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch” is the resulting breakup song.
Did this really HAVE to be the first thing I see when I opened up Tumblr?
life tip whatever dumb ass name you get siri to call you is what your iphone automatically signs your emails as. i have been applying to jobs for 2 months as queef.
Me: *picks up “dead” bat in my yard so my dog doesn’t eat it*
“Dead” bat: O_O
Me: O_O
Me upon realizing I am holding a very not dead bat and not dead bat realizing it has been picked up by a large creature at the exact same second: eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!
He scream
You want rabies? That’s how you get rabies
1.I picked it up with a towel and gardening gloves and never once touched it with my bare hands.
2.
3.The bat was at the bottom of my porch where I have to take my dog out but I guess I should have just left it there for her to eat right?
4.It was in a position that made it clear that it was most likely hurt from hitting my house and not just sick. It’s warming up in my area and they are just coming out from the winter and it was most likely confused because I live right next to the highway and there’s a lot of noise.
5.You can only get rabies from a bat by being bitten or otherwise getting its saliva in your bloodstream. And it was two inches long and I’m a grown ass adult with a towel and gardening gloves and a thick ass sweater.
Good thing you tagged it as “stupid people” because you obviously don’t know enough about the situation
I’m sorry I tagged it that way. That was incredibly childish of me. I’ve just had it pounded into my head that you don’t mess with sick or injured wildlife because of the risk of exposure.
I’m a registered Veterinary technician and I’ve worked with a rabid cat and it was terrifying
I’m sorry I got so defensive. I’ve seen a lot of bats killed in my area because people are misinformed about the rabies situation. I used to play with them as a kid by throwing sticks in the air and watching them swoop to get them and each year they were noticably fewer until they were just gone.
That was the most adult way I’ve ever seen an argument addressed on the internet.
One thing I’ve learned in life, if you act really self-assured and confident you can pretty much get away with anything.
For example, I’ve watched someone walk on to a plane with no passport. Just walked right on.
Once walked out of a dude’s house with a pair of his pants slung over my shoulder. Did all the usual eye-contact, saying-goodbye movements and noises, just… while stealing his pants. He did not notice.
I told my English teacher that she graded my final paper(I did not turn one in) and that she told me it was well written. She scrambled 3 days trying to find the nonexistent paper, then apologized to me for losing it and gave me a 96%. Confidence is key
my dad’s mate just walked out of a shop with a canoe and didn’t get questioned
Humans are like bees: if they sense you’re an intruder all hell will break loose, but if you get inside the hive they just assume you belong there. Be confident.
Bee confident
This is funny but also true, and a huge tip when traveling. Act like you belong, and you won’t be bothered like other tourists might. Especially on public transportation… do your research ahead of time and look like a disinterested commuter and you’ll blend right in.
Fun Fact about Bees: they use pheromones to communicate and the pheromone to signal ALARMisthe same chemical that makes bananas smell like bananas so if you eat a banana and then breathe on a beehive you will regret it and this seemed relevant when i started writing it
Professional Peefer 
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